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2000 Tour Reports Index


DDD Tour- March-May

Mar 14-18- SXSW-Austin:
pools of water reflect the sky like mirrors

Mar 18-23 The Southeast:
kiss the ground in Baton Rouge

Mar 23-31 The East Coast:
"just tell me, is this still part of the game?"

April Week 1 - NorthEast Coast:
what can make a towel smell like bacon?

April Week 2 Midwest Datest:
crying to the music of the Doors

April Week 3 - Go West:
It's so exciting when people beat the crap out of each other!

April Week 4- West:
That West-Coast, I-5 feel

May Week 1 - End:
"I'm a Man and I Have Needs"


Part 8: "I'm a Man and I Have Needs"

Wednesday, May 3, 2000 - Day Off, drive to LA

So I made us drive to LA today because I needed to eat at this restaurant that I love, Versailles. It's a Cuban restaurant, with the greatest garlic chicken in the world; it costs around US$8 for a half-chicken, a cup of black beans, lovely white rice, and fried plantains, enough to make me terribly ill, and that's just what happened, I got terribly ill. If I eat too much garlic, my head spins around, and that's just what happened tonight; I ate too much garlic and my head spun around, but it was great. There's nothing like eating so much that you make yourself sick!

Then we got a Motel 6 in Los Angeles. I am just waiting for the earthquake. Howie says, "Anything can happen tonight. Someone is going to die tonight!" as we pull into the Motel 6 in the Valley. It's right across from the Budweiser plant, and I swear, the woman behind the desk's nervous system was functioning not much better than that of a single-celled organism. I have a bad feeling about this place, but we need to be in Motel 6 room tonight by 10:30 because THE MATRIX is on HBO tonight and I WANT TO WATCH IT! I've seen it so many times, but never broadcast on cable- I don't know why it's so special to watch it as it's broadcast, but it just is. We even own the DVD, but there's just something about the fact that I'm watching it with thousands of viewers all across the country. "There is no spoon." Oh yeah. Keanu gets offered a red pill or a blue one - one pill makes him "wake up" and the other, he just stays the same forever. Jim pipes up, "TAKE BOTH PILLS!" Jim is always thinking outside the box.

Why do I love the Matrix so much now? It's probably the kung-fu, the idea that the actors had to study it to do their parts. It's the situationist thing, the waking up of dulled minds.It's got a female character kissing the male lead character to bring him back to life. It's all the hacker stuff, too, and it's even the fact that Keanu Reeves is in the movie - I am just loving these movies that have the stars in them, like Brad Pitt in Fight Club. I love a commercial film that is good, maybe even more than an indie film that is good. It's just so rare to find a good commercial film, ya gotta give credit where credit is due.

Thursday, May 4, 2000 - Los Angeles, The Spectacle

So we woke up this morning to the sound of banging. The housekeeper and others are banging on the door to the room two doors down from us. BANG BANG BANG!! Then a man comes up with a walkie-talkie and says something about "a suicide" and "the mother called, she's worried." More banging. We are peeking out the window. Nothing happens for a while, and then finally a policeman comes and breaks into the room. Then we hear the sound of slapping, and a person yelling, "GUY! GUY! Wake UP!"

2 Fire trucks pull into the parking lot, and then about 15 minutes later, an ambulance and a limo show up. A man is carried down the Motel 6 steps in a large, blue tarp. A paramedic tells me, "He's still breathing." The limo driver pauses for me to take his picture. I have no idea why there's a limo driver here.

A kid comes up to me to talk. "What label are you on, " he asks. I tell him the labels we've been on. "I have a band too," he states, "we're up and coming," or something like that. I want to pour the knowledge I have of the record industry into my cupped hands and hand it to him to drink in, to help this poor soul. He has already used the word "Boku" to mean "A lot." He has already told me about his management. It's like listening to someone talk about how he is going to win the lottery. "I'm not going to sign any contract that is not totally pro-artist" he says. Fool. You can't even get the labels to change their policy for only paying credits for 90% of the CDs they sell, and that's a throwback to the time when records were made of shellac and 10% of them were going to crack before they got sold. You think this guy is going to ask for his 12% of 100% of the CDs pressed when they're waving a big US$50K check in front of his face? If there were no pens in the room at that time, he'd bite off one of his own fingers to use as a pen, and sign with the blood. "What do you sound like?" I asked. "Pearl-Jamish" was the answer. Good luck, guy.

Today I had a US$14 salad, and then we went to the Museum of Geffen or something like that; the 100 Years of Architecture exhibit was there. It was nice, except too many blueprints and not enough photographs, said Rick.

The show tonight started with a band whose lead singer looked like Marcia from the Brady Bunch. They were called 3rd Grade Teacher or something like that, and they were dressed as Catholic School Students. The girl looked really normal and nice in a preteen way, but she got these crazed looks in her face sometimes and she'd scream sometimes, and in between songs she had a silver flask that she drank out of. I thought they were really, really incredible. They had 4-5 people videotaping them as they played; it was like this huge industry spectacle.

I went to talk to the girl after the show, but she was shaking so badly and wasn't making any sense. She must have gotten over-excited from their show. They were so incredibly intense at the end of it! I asked if they had a record deal yet and she said, "no" and I said, "are you looking for a major deal?" and her eyes got huge and she said, "YES!" I can't believe that she understood me. But later she told me she heard we owned a record label. It was so weird; the guy she was with was really intense, too. Really strange.

Later I went in the girls bathroom and there were a bunch of girls in there babbling about how there was Coke all over the back of the toilet seat. I didn't understand what they hell they were talking about. No one was making any sense at all. I muttered something about how people shouldn't do Coke. Now there is a drug I will never, EVER try - like I want to stick something up my nose that's gonna make me feel like a superhero for about 15 minutes, and then I'll need to go find more of it right after that? Screw THAT. But then I started feeling like, 'shit, when I go up on the stage and jump around like an idiot, (and that's my act) these people are just going to think, "oh, she's on Coke."' and that really saddened me. I mean, it's so important for me to be pulling out my insides for people, and if they just think, "oh, I wonder what drugs SHE'S on," what's the POINT? Damn! It wouldn't be ME if it was just drugs. It wouldn't be REAL. It would be FAKE.

And so I spent the rest of the night worrying that the people I grew up with, who were there to watch our show, thought I was on crack.

"I'm a Man and I Have Needs"

Tonight we drove to the very outskirts of Los Angeles, to Palm Springs to escape the traffic tomorrow. While we drove we heard a story on the radio about a man who put his penis through a knothole in a 2x4 because he had seen an Asian woman with large breasts. He kept talking about a "Hanging Asian Love Basket." He was suing the wood company for not putting a warning on the wood - he got splinters - and he was suing the company who made the lubricant he used; Joe's Wood Putty or something like that, because he had been very uncomfortable. People called in to the radio show to yell at this man and scold him for putting his penis into the wood knothole, but he just kept repeating, "I'm a Man. I have Needs."

Driving to Palm Springs: It was unusually foggy for the desert. Very odd. But gorgeously warm.

Friday, May 5, 2000 - Tucson, AZ

Hey! Guess what that fog was? Check THIS out - a Plume of hydrochloric acid (HCL) has wafted over I-10 east of Los Angeles, and the entire highway is shut down between two north-south freeways, and people are being evacuated from their homes. The Plume came from a leaky train. We are lucky that we drove last night, even if we probably drove through the Plume. The newspeople are not making such a big deal out of this toxic event; they are pushing the story of a motorcyclist that got run over by a school bus in front of a school, or something like that.


The BALD GUY from the John Cusack vehicle movie came to see the SHOW last night AND HE BOUGHT ONE OF OUR RECORDS!! WOW!! I wish I had known, I would have attacked this guy. He has the only good character in the whole movie, and the whole time the movie was playing, I kept yelling, "I LOVE THAT BALD GUY! I LOVE THE BALD GUY!" WOW, that's just SO COOL!

Club Congress is strangely quiet tonight. No tattoo festival, no bikers, no nothing, just a bunch of tense people hanging around. A Pearl-Jammish sounding band opens for us. The promoter tells me he's not doing shows anymore, because no one comes to them. Guys in the audience tell me not to play here anymore because the club sucks. I feel bad because the looks are still there, the place still feels wonderful to be in and around, and we all got hotel rooms this time, but something is missing. There are less people around town today.

Saturday, May 6, 2000 - Albuquerque!

Nothing weird happened.

A bunch of kids came to the show to see us and weren't allowed in because they were underage. Great. The people who were there for the show seemed to like it ok, like we were a novelty act. It was strange and interesting for them, I think.

Sunday, May 7, 2000 - Norman, OK

This is a pickup-show that our friends Purple Cow Story booked for us. They played tonight too - they are really excellent. They are the band who got up and played "Modern Art" our instruments at the Denton show. It was fun to play in Norman again; it was a beautiful day outside. An old label person from Warner Brothers came to see us and talked to us for hours before the show, but didn't stay for any of our songs. We gave her a CD - I hope she listens to it. I don't know why; I just wanted her to hear the new album. Everyone keeps telling me it's their most favorite Poster Children album. I guess I was looking for some sort of approval. I don't know why.

Monday, May 8, 2000 - Kansas City, last day!

Woo. This is in a pretty bad neighborhood of KC. A bunch of scary-lookin people descend upon the van as we park, just on the wrong side of the venue. We pull out quickly and find out the proper place to park. Could we get shot tonight?

Although there is a White Castle next door to the club. So that's pretty much heaven. Even if it's about 20 degrees in there and you have to beg for your toilet paper. Lots of kewl little kids hanging out around the club, but they're not going to stick around to check us out because, basically, they haven't heard of us before. Who knows what might happen if they stuck around to see a band they haven't heard of. They might have to form an opinion of us without consulting someone else's review first!

Tonight's show is fun to play. We are going home, summer is coming, there will be lots to do. And we still have some shows. We will start writing our movie this summer, and filming it - we're going to have a bunch of live shows in it, and we're going to have to set them up, so be tuned for a bunch of free shows that we'll be playing around the Chicago/Champaign/Illinois area in the summer. Then we'll compile the movie - it's going to be a sort of documentary/compilation/drama re-enactment of what it's like to be on tour. It will be released as a DVD, in conjunction with a live Poster Children CD. The next technology is very, very exciting, isn't it.

Tuesday, May 9 and beyond....

Once again we arrive home from tour with a good amount of money, and we have taken no tour support from our label. It's again thanks to the people who lent their floors to us, and the people who bought our t-shirts and CDs; you guys help us out so much. I am honored to be able to provide you with a service that makes all of us, me, my bandmates, and our audience so happy, and we thank you for giving us the opportunity to do so.I may continue these diaries as I see fit, in both directions - I just discovered my actual diaries from 1991-1994, which include our signing to a major label, Bob and Johnny (old drummers), Swervedriver tours, and stuff about calling and begging distributors to buy Hum records. They're very interesting, but kind of scary to me. I was a lot more unbalanced back then.Anyway, stay tuned to the website. Many things will be afoot.